Disclaimer: the following letter was written by remain voter and Labour member Michelle (Chelley) Ryan. It is not so much satire as a warning to all Labour members slating Jeremy Corbyn for respecting the referendum result, because the truth is this; if Labour blocked brexit, Labour’s reputation as a snobbish, out of touch, arrogant, metropolitan elitist party, will be secured. Now please read on.
Dear stupid Brexit voter,
I hope you don’t mind us calling you that (that’s if you can read this letter), but we might as well be honest about what you are from the outset.
We (Labour MPs of much greater intellect and wisdom than yourself) have decided to block Brexit. You clearly had no idea what you were doing when you put that cross next to leave. Maybe you took a wrong turn on the way to the bingo hall and thought you were crossing off legs eleven. Never mind, we are here to save you from your pig-ignorant self. Even if you did realise you were voting to leave the EU, you clearly didn’t understand the potential implications for the economy. Was it the NHS bus that did it? Well there is no shame in that. It was a very pretty colour. Or maybe you simply fell for that promise of extra NHS funding. People with painfully low IQs often are more gullible and trusting.
If you’d been a tad smarter, you’d have realised it was a Brexit con to get you to vote leave. Never mind; we are here now to save you from your own shocking stupidity. What you clearly didn’t grasp was the likelihood of a hard Brexit despite the fact several high profile Brexiteers and Remainers discussed it at length. You probably didn’t watch any of those interviews, debates or News programmes, being far too busy catching up on Eastenders, X-Factor, or whatever TV programme stupid people watch these days. Or maybe you were in the pub staring mindlessly at a bunch of men running round a field, desperately trying to kick a ball in a net. Never mind, as we said, we are here to save you from your own stupidity. It’s not a case of us disrespecting democracy. We just disrespect stupid people like you. After all, it’s stupid poor people like you who will be most hurt by a hard Brexit so we are only thinking of you.
We look forward to receiving your vote of gratitude at the next General Election.
Brexit blocking Labour MPs